Mothers In Islam
Our mothers play an important role in our childhood, since before we are born, they are caring and nurturing for our every need and ensuring that we are birthed into an environment that is safe and loving. A big part of the Islamic religion in the Muslim culture is that children are taught to respect and care for their mothers as Allah and the prophets holds mothers to a high esteem.
Based on the various teachings of the Hadith and the Qu’ran, there are many scriptures and phrases that refer to the rules that children must follow to ensure that Mothers are always well taken care of in every aspect of their physical, mental, and emotional well- being.
Children are asked to only act in good nature towards their mother, to not repel, speak softly and to always pray for her and her well-being. These are asked of children in the Qu’ran to ensure that mothers have a good life while still on earth and in return this behavior is rewarded with blessings from the Almighty.
The Status of Mothers According to Islam:
In Islam, mothers are placed on a higher pedestal then fathers although in most Muslim countries they are patriarchal structures. Despite the father being the head of the house, mothers have power over the house and the way things are run. Within the communities, mothers are held up to a higher status than most women.
Muslim people are uncomfortable with the idea of having their mothers cared for by facilities such as care homes or even leaving their mothers to care for themselves, they need to ensure that she receives the best care that they can provide.
Even in the case where a mother files for custody for her children in a divorce, Islamic law would give first preference to the mother for the physical custody of her children and even while fighting for custody, she is entitled to receive financial assistance from her husband to maintain their child.
Mothers are held in a much higher regard than spiritual commitments or choices taken in the name of religion. If the Qu’ran or other teachings advise people to do something and their mother do not accept or approve, then the children must follow the mother’s instructions and obey her rules no matter what Allah or the teachings has said, even if they feel that the reward is worth disobeying their mother, they would only be committing a sin and lose out on whatever reward they had hoped to obtain. The reason for this is that when the mother’s instructions is compared to the instructions of God in Islam, if it does not influence the child’s normal obligation when practicing Islam such as praying daily and fasting during the month of Ramadan her decision should be always respected.
The teachings of Islam instil having respect for your parents and after upholding all divine orders you should always give people their rights as one of the most human duties you can do- everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect, but Islam teachings feel that mothers should be treated with kindness and respect whether they are worthy of it or not simply because of the fact that they brought you into this world.
A common example of how mother’s orders should be respected and is often used as reference is of a son that wants to join the Holy war (Jihad), if he feels that he should join the Jihad and he has the right criteria to fight non-believers, but his mother feels that he should not join the war, then he simply cannot go against his mother’s wishes. He needs to honor and respect her wishes and stay home.
This puts serving your mother above fighting in a holy war for your religion. By always showing gratitude and being thankful for the work your mother has put into raising you. The phrase in the Hadith stating that: “Your paradise lies under the feet of your mother” is one that gives much reason to be careful in how you treat your mother. As your mother is the only person to provide the efficient care and nurturing you require throughout your life, being kind and loving towards her in return will earn you the rightful place in paradise as you are obeying the most important command of the Creator and his teachings.
Islam teaches Muslim children to treat their parents’ proper despite how they are treated by their parents, if they show any unkindness towards you be it mental, physical, or emotional. Islam advises that you should pray for them rather than to do unto them what has been done unto you. Behaviors such as raising your voice or even walking behind them is frowned upon.
Islam gives mothers all these benefits and special considerations as mother’s experience the most excruciating pain when in labor. As well as the sacrifice, time, effort and love she must provide the child with to ensure that he/she is a well- developed upstanding member of society. Therefore, these rights are bestowed upon her by Islam as a way of showing gratitude for all that she has done and continues to do for her children/child.
However, it is important to notice that not every mother is awarded these great rewards through the Qu’ran and the Hadith. If a mother has chosen to neglect her child and only focus on herself, she is unfit to receive these rights and future rewards.
Things such as not caring for the child and his/her well-being, choosing to partake in unholy activities such as nightly revelry or going to dance parties. Not showing any interest in her child’s education or taking the time to educate her child. This kind of behavior is of an unfit mother and Islam does not recognize her to have the privilege and care of being cared for by her child as she had done an injustice by neglecting the basic needs of her kid.
Educating children takes constant care and patience and parents are the first people to provide it as the mother is the first person who teaches the child and interacts with the child’s characteristics before anyone else and this builds character and personality. Mothers who do not take the time to educate their kids, often have a child lacking in social skills, is shy or could simply turn out a troublemaker who does not follow rules for the simple fact that he wants attention.
Children learn from the examples set for them from a young age and a mother that does not show a good example cannot expect to be treated with respect when the child was not accustomed to growing up in a household or family that was built on morals and values. Children who grow up with their mothers being consistent in their upbringing are better developed and have a sense of caring for family as opposed to children who grew up on their own or in environments amongst people who aren’t their families. If the mother is uncaring towards the child, the child learns not to be affectionate and will withdraw from wanting to care for the mother in her old age. This does not affect the child negatively according to the Qu’ran and Hadith as the mother had failed the child in the early stages of his or her life, they cannot be blamed for being resentful or being disrespectful when the mother has not taught these core values or has caused significant damage to the well-being of the child.
On the other hand, the Qu’ran states that: “We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents, in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain she gives him birth.” This phrase emphasizes that your mother had chosen to suffer to bring you into the world and for that you should always be in debt to your mother because it is to her that you owe your life.